First Steps: Beginning Our Foster Care Journey

The moments after you make the decision to walk down the road of foster care are a blur. There is suddenly so much to do and so little time. We had FOUR days between an initial "what if" conversation, a decision and orientation.  I have described the last days and weeks to several people in my life as a 90 day pregnancy while signing mortgage paperwork. There were so many forms to fill out, documents to gather (Sorry Mom, I lost my birth certificate... you don't want to know how much it cost to replace it...).

The first thing on the list was watching the orientation videos from the state of Arizona. Our agency asked us to do this before we even came to orientation. For anyone interested, the first of the series can be found here. The videos are informative and helpful, but do go on for a while.

After that, we attended an in person orientation at our agency. When we decided to walk down this journey, we did so knowing that we were reliant on God to open and close doors. We were committed to continue to walk through open doors as they came. Agency Orientation was another open door, so we walked through it. Every step we took, we both felt peace and momentum forward.

Then we waited. I'm sure this was the first of many phone calls to come that felt like waiting for the phone to ring after a first date. We waited what seemed like forever for our licensing worker to call us for the first time. In reality, it was like 4 days. In the meantime, we had been granted access to the document portal and I began gathering and uploading our documents (and discovered my missing birth certificate...) We kept moving forward. I continued uploading the documents, we both got CPR certified (which actually turned out to be a night of our upcoming foster care parent classes, so I guess we will be double certified...). Those who know me, know I am not a procrastinator. I want it checked off and off my list so I can move on. Then after 4 days, I was in the middle of working out, a sweaty and out of breath mess and the phone rang. She was SO sweet and arranged to come and meet us the following Friday.

I think those days between that phone call and the first meeting seemed to go on forever. I finished all the documents I could on my own and kept researching and reading. I was like a sponge. I am not a lover of surprises, which I'm sure will be a growth point for me on this journey, so I had conversations and read articles and soaked up whatever I could to help anticipate what is next. One of the most helpful thing that I did was listen to the Fostering Voices podcast. Chris and Jihae have been friends of our for many years, but listening to this as a family gave such great insight as to what was to come. Even if you aren't looking to get involved in foster care, I would highly recommend it!

When Friday came, I spent the morning a nervous wreck, frantically cleaning the house and getting things in order. I am sure that this surprises exactly no one. When the door bell rang, Olive quickly ran to the door (the other two were at school). To my surprise, she didn't really want to see the house. She wanted to have us sign a few forms, asked us some basic questions (like Why do we want to become foster parents?) and set up a training schedule. After 45 minutes, she left and we were tasked with getting ready for our life safety inspection. This would be the next big task on our journey.

So knowing what I know now from personal experience, what would I tell myself a few weeks ago? If I could whisper back to my nervous self, what would I say?

1. Start Learning: Begin researching. Research agencies, the rules in your state, talk to other current foster parents that you might know. There is a TON of information available to you. Take in everything that you can to make the most informed decisions going forward. One particularly helpful step we took was we listened to podcasts as a family. We listened to other families who were ahead of us allowed us all to get a glimpse into our future. It helped our kids understand what would be happening and opened the door to real and transparent conversations. 
2. Attend an orientation (or two): The agency that you choose will be your advocate going forward. Attend an orientation or a couple to get to know the agencies in your area. Treat them like a job interview, as in you are hiring them, not them hiring you. 
3. Tell your friends and family: Our children were part of the decision process, not the sharing of news. This would change their lives in the same way that it will change ours, so they were in the loop long before we got to this point. As for others, expect a variety of responses. Some people will be ignorant at best, some will surprise you. Be prepared with your own research to answer questions and point people to resources that you have found useful. You will need a support team, so having these initial conversations will help you identify your support team going forward. 
4. Choose an agency: Once you have done your research and attended orientation, choose an agency to move forward with. The agency that you choose will determine the next steps. We only went to one agency orientation. We had friends who had used this agency and were very happy.  Next steps include beginning paperwork, having a first meeting with our case worker, and beginning to prepare our home. 

This is the beginning of the journey. There will be much more to come. More Paperwork, interviews, purchases, adjustments in your home. It is worth it! Every child is worth it. I have been told this is the hardest and most rewarding thing we will ever undertake. I believe that will be the case. But my faith pushes me forward, compels me to take the next step.