Out of the Overflow

Encouragement. A noun meaning, “the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope” It is a need we all have. A God designed hunger. A hole that longs to be filled day in and day out, a part of our need for fulfillment in our lives.  It is a need that is a driving force in my life. If it is filled, I am happy and content. When I am encouraged and supported, I have hope. I can love others out of the overflow in my life.  But my darkest days, days where tears flow, wounds are raw and anger rises, days that feel hopeless and futureless, those are the days that I need encouragement and can’t find it. Or maybe others are offering it, but I can’t hear it beyond the pain. Yet, in the midst, I am still aware of this need to be lifted out of the fog.  

Like Job, sitting in the ashes of his life, haven’t we all needed a little uplifting by those surrounding us.  Moments where we have felt like God has taken everything from us as he did with Job. Doesn’t it always feel like that in the midst of crisis? Like we have lost everything, like the carpet of our expectations has been ripped out from underneath us.

Our oldest experienced this in a powerful way a few years ago. In a way that has stood as a lesson to her mama on the power of words in the lives of others. After a successful competitive year in gymnastics at level 4, which included a trip to the State Gymnastics Meet, she suddenly decided she was done. We struggled with her as she wrestled with why this was and if we could make adjustments in her situation to allow her to continue or whether she was simply finished. Our discussions revealed a long standing situation with a discouraging coach that had finally gotten the better of her. Sadly, I have come to find out that I actually have a picture of the moment that broke her. I won't share it here out of respect for the other person, but her body posture and facial expressions show the pain of the moment. Rigid in posture and blank in the face, she had checked out. Poor girl hadn't had enough of gymnastics, but enough discouragement.

We quickly investigated other situations both in her current gym and outside. We ended up moving to a completely new  gym and she is a new girl. She is kinder, gentler with others, a better sister, daughter and friend... because of the words being spoken over her. It has been such a lesson in what encouragement can do. At 10 years old, she had her spirit broken by another adult. She needed to be to told that she was wanted and believed in. That she wasn't one of many, but paid attention to and special. It has caused me to pause and think about my words and where they come from. So many times, in moments of frustration, I allow that to bubble over and out. I want so badly to model for my children to find peace and joy in any moment. To always speak words of encouragement and  operate out of the overflow of His joy.

This reminds me of "The parable of the acid cup" (The Disciple-Making Parent). It is such a perfect picture of how our words can injure others. Chap Bettis writes:

Imagine holding a jar full of sulfuric acid. Someone jostles you and the sulfuric acid spills out. It injures you and the people who are around you. If you were asked, "Why did the sulfuric acid spill out?" you would be tempted to answer, "Because I was jostled as I was carrying it." But that's not the real reason. The real answer is because there was sulfuric acid in the jar to begin with. The same jostling of an empty jar would've produced no injury.

What comes out of the overflow of our hearts, is a reflection of what is within. As our pastor recently reminded us, "What we focus on is what we produce". If I focus on my sin, bitterness, anger or resentment, I will produce sulfuric acid that will injure those around me when my life is jostled. But if I keep my eyes on Jesus, I will be able to operate out of the overflow of joy, even if others are spewing acid around me. Only if I remain dependent on Him, moment by moment, will I be able to model this for my kids. If only that were easy...